Relocated.

kissafernandez.tumblr.com

Momspeak.

Madre: You are giving me a pet peeve right now. Second, you are freaking my nerves. And my nerves are already freaking!

[I run away laughing and imitating her]

Madre: Oh, and I did not spend a lot of money already and send you to school and you make fun of my English!

Sister: English FAIL!!

A decent man.

Me: I met a guy at the club last night and GUESS WHAT... 

he's in med school!

Padre: Oh! Did you get his address?

I guess that's how they got down in the P.I. back in the day.

Diggin the Jersey club scene. Maybe because I didn't know anyone. Fresh faces, nah sayin!? But no forreal... I been waiting for the day I met a decent man at a club haha. There is hope that this shall happen again! 757 feels stale sometimes. Packing for Miami. Holla.

Journey craze.

So my parents are all about some Journey ever since Arnel Pineda became lead singer. Mom was memorizing lyrics for the concert. That is an imaginary mic in her hand. Completely unnecessary. Notice how my dad does a double take as he's walking by. They intrigue me.

Happy hour. Every hour.

At the office this morning, a patient came in for some blood work that required him to be fasting prior to the appointment. When the nurse asked him if he had anything to eat or drink today, he replied, "no food... but I had a drink." And he smiled through a red face, wreaking of alcohol. Some people are just amazing. Did I mention it was about 11am?

Poo package.

After working at two different medical offices as a receptionist, I've learned to keep a bottle of hand sanitizer handy for when a patient comes in to drop off a small, thick, warm envelope to take to the lab. I call this the poo package. I always wonder how they go about it. Do they fish it out of the toilet? Do they do it like a piss test, hovering over a small cup, hoping it doesn't land on their hands? Or maybe they do it outside and collect from there. Why do I think about these things?

Not fly.

I cut someone off this morning only to find that they were on their way to church as well. For once, I felt the need to go to confession. Terrible. Then again, I was signaling. It's not my fault they were assholes and sped up when I wanted to get over.

Speaking of church, though, there's always something that makes me smile at church. Today, I was glazing over the communion lines when I spotted a bowl cut! It was amazing. Blonde highlights in his jet black hair, too. And it was so thick! This thing had volume to it! There it was... flopping about proudly. I guess this guy didn't get the memo that it's 2008 already. Why do I pick on people with terrible hair?